


Fate

by Squoose67



Series: Destiel one shots [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Cas is sad, Cas rambles, Dean is sad, Drunk Castiel (Supernatural), Fate, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, I'm sleep deprived, Kinda?, M/M, This seems to be a common occurrence here, Unrequited, cas is drunk, everyone is sad, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-19 15:42:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22746859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squoose67/pseuds/Squoose67
Summary: Charlie had told him that his roommate was going out on a date with Mick Davies. Dean wrinkled his nose just at the thought of the smarmy British prick. He and Cas had gone out on a couple dates but he was known for sleeping around but Cas was naive and just too damn trusting.I don't do well at summaries.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel one shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1118763
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	Fate

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess. Please enjoy :)

Fate

“Out for the night. Can you get more milk if you’re out? Leftovers and pie in the fridge. Don’t wait up.

See you tomorrow,  
Castiel.”

Dean thought about the note Cas had left before he had gone out. Charlie had told him that his roommate was going out on a date with Mick Davies. Dean wrinkled his nose just at the thought of the smarmy British prick. He and Cas had gone out on a couple dates but he was known for sleeping around but Cas was naive and just too damn trusting. Dean knew that Mick was an asshole but Cas seemed to really, really like him and Dean didn’t want to hurt him, not like he had last time. He couldn’t do that again.

Dean had known Cas for years. They’d gone to high school together and had shared a couple classes. They’d gotten to know each other through Charlie, their lovable but still a pain in the ass best friend. They were inseparable as teens and they all managed to get into the same college. 

In their first year of college, Charlie had managed to convince Cas to tell Dean that he was in love with him. Dean was in a relationship with a girl named Anna at the time yet Charlie had sworn that Dean returned his feelings but it seemed she was wrong which had led to Dean rejecting Cas and that caused a rift in their friendship. It had been awkward for a while as Cas tried to get over the feelings he harboured for his best friend for three years. It took a long couple of months and lots of patience on Charlie’s part but the two managed to rebuild their friendship. Three years later and it seemed the tables had turned. Here Cas was, meeting new people and going on dates while Dean was the one pining for what he couldn’t have. 

Dean checked his watch as he got out of his car. It was almost eleven and he was sure that Cas wouldn’t be home for another couple hours, at least. He hated being in the apartment that he shared with his best friend alone so while Cas was out, Dean would meet up with Sam or head over to Charlie’s. Tonight he had met up with Sam before going to the store to get the milk that Cas had asked for. He sighed as he made his way into the building. They lived on the fourth floor and the elevator was broken so Dean braced himself to walk up the stairs. Not many people lived on the same floor as they did, for a reason unbeknownst to either Dean or Cas, but it was a feature that they were both happy about.

Dean hummed a Metallica song to himself as he walked up the flights of stairs. He began to sing along as he turned the corner that led to the hall down to the apartment. He furrowed his brows when he saw a figure sitting in the hallway, leaning against the radiator that was beside his home. It took him a minute to realise the figure was, in fact, his roommate.

“Cas?” He called out as he made his way over to him, “what are you doing sitting out here?”

Cas looked up at him and Dean saw that he was crying. He immediately sank down beside him. “Hey, buddy, what’s wrong?” He questioned him, this time in a softer voice. Cas used his sleeve to dry his eyes but didn’t answer. It was then he realised Cas was drunk, which was strange as it was a rare occurrence. “What’s wrong, Cas, c’mon, talk to me.” His roommate took a deep breath before beginning to speak. 

“It’s gotta be me, right?” He blurted out.

“What’s gotta be you?” Dean questioned in confusion as Cas rested his head on the radiator, that Dean is pretty sure hasn’t been turned on in years, and closed his eyes.

“There has to be something wrong with me, Dean, there has to be because nothing I do is right, nothing and… and I always… ‘always’ fall for the people who treat me like shit, who could never love me back. I always throw myself in head first and wear my emotions on my sleeve and I just wish I was different.”

“Cas…” Dean wrapped his arms around him and that’s when the sobbing began. It hurt him so much to hear what the man he was in love with was saying about himself. How could he feel such things about him? How could someone hurt him like that? Dean had a feeling that he was one of the people who hurt him like that.

“It’s not fair, Dean,” he spoke softly once he calmed down. “Why can’t people like me for me, why do I have to feel like this?” Dean closed his eyes before speaking again, “I’m sorry, Cas, I truly am, but it’ll be…” Before he could finish his sentence Cas had cut him off. “Don’t say it’ll be okay! Do not because I’m not like you or Mick, Dean! I can’t just sleep with someone else and forget about them the next day!” Oof, low blow…

“I’m just so sick of falling for people who will never love me back,” he repeated with a hiccup, his words slurred. “Why? Why can’t this shit be easier!” He wailed, “why couldn’t Mick love me back?” Dean felt his heart break. Cas… Cas loved him. How could he love someone like Mick?

“Or why couldn’t you have loved me then… Why can’t I love you now?” He whispered into the quiet of the semi-lit hallway. Dean froze. Cas knew?! How could he know?! Dean had been so careful to keep his actions and feelings in check. How could this happen? He had been careful!

As if reading his mind, Cas looked to Dean, a sad smile on his lips. “I know, Dean. I’ve known for a while.” Dean looked at him like he had two heads. “How do I know? Well, let’s just say I’m all too familiar with the lovesick puppy look, I’ve never been on the receiving end of it though, so that’s a change. You look at me the same way I looked at you.” He laughed, it sounded like nothing he had ever heard from Cas before. It was dark and humourless.  
“Look at us, Dean, fate has screwed us over once again. Trust me, it’s not gonna be the last.”

“Fate likes to screw people like me -like you- over and over and over again,” Dean watched as Cas made all these hand gestures, listening to what his drunk friend had to say, “and-and there’s fuck all we can do about it b-because it’s fucking fate! How the hell do you fight fate?!” He rambled on, “it’s chosen us as its-its puppets to fuck around with!” He was yelling now, each word getting louder and louder. “We… We are the unlucky ones… We’re fucking fucked, y’know that Dean? We’re fucked up. Look at us, look at me and you. I was in love with you yeeeeeeeaaaaars ago. But me? I managed to fall out of love with you, I managed to move on. And you? You’re in love with me now,” he spat out, “three fucking years later. Charlie still claims that you were in love with me back then, maybe you were, maybe you just couldn’t get your head out of your ass!” He threw his head back with a sigh, his skull hitting the radiator with a thud, a sob escaping from his lips. “Why are we like this? Why are we fucked?”

Dean stayed quiet, the silence becoming heavy around the two. Why does Cas always have to be right? Even when he was drunk the bastard was right. They were fucked. They’re both fucked up. They both sat there unmoving for a couple minutes before Cas, in his drunken state, finally became restless. “I’m going to bed,” he shakily stood up, gripping on to the heater as he shuffled to the door, trying to open the door, jiggling the handle. “Deeeeeean,” he whined when it wouldn’t open, “it’s locked.” Dean clambered to his feet, fishing his keys from his pocket and unlocking the door. “There ya go, buddy,” His voice came out shaky, despite how he tried to keep it under control. Cas stumbled to his bedroom. “G’night, Dean,” he grumbled before disappearing behind the door. 

Dean put the milk into the fridge and got Cas a bottle of water and something to ease the headache he would no doubt have in the morning. He softly knocked on Cas’s door before entering, seeing his roommate on his bed, halfway undressed and under the covers. Dean placed the water and meds on the bedside table before helping his unconscious body into a much more comfortable position. 

Once he finished up in Cas’s room he made his way to his own. He took off his shirt and pants and changed into some pajamas. He crawled on to his bed and lay down, staring up at the ceiling as he thought about what Cas had said. Yeah, maybe they were both fucked, maybe they were destined for this pain -not that Dean believed in that crap- but at least they had each other, right?

That slightly comforting thought was the last thing Dean thought to himself as he drifted to sleep. No matter how much his best friends words hurt him, they had each other, and right now, that was the best thing Dean had.


End file.
